The sadness of being happy

“Abe fail thodi karega bhai.. kyu tension le raha hai?”

Perhaps, he was right. Our final exams in the final year. We knew the system, the system knew us. We wouldn’t fail, it was almost guaranteed. But I wanted to take it as just another exam, only that, it wasn’t. I wanted to have the fear of failing, only, there wasn’t any. I wanted to feel the joy of yet another exam passing, yet, sadness surrounded me. The ‘ulti ginti’ has already started.

I distinctly remember the first exam session for which I appeared here, one subject in particular, Applied Physics. We were being taught the “Theory of Relativity”. The night before the exam, our group, started a discussion on the same. Who broached it, why was it brought up was irrelevant. We listened, we argued, we discussed from 9PM until the sun started rising. It was then, when one of us shouted “Arre kutton, thodi der so jao, subah ho gai hai, 3 ghante me paper dene jana hai”, we came out of Einstein’s mess. The discussion was still wide open, no one ready to accept what other had to say.  Everyone was Einstein on his own. What we wrote in our sheets, well, no fuckin’ clue!

In another such instance, during the second semester, I was really freaked out about this exam, BME, possibly!

“Bhai, sab bhool gaya yaar. Jo pada tha sab bhool gaya. Kuch yaad nahi a raha” said one, while still furiously going through the pages of the notes. This freaked me out even more, as I started to feel that even I had reached my full capacity to mug up. Every word now was overflowing.

Stress was all around, when one says, “Let’s go”. What we did was weird, comical and made absolutely no sense. It was 3AM, we laid down on the road looking towards the night sky. “Bhai tension lene ki jaroorat hi nahi hai. Itne velle hai hum, paper se ek din pehle, raat me, SADAK pad lete hai, taare gin rahe hai”. All three of us burst out laughing, spent a good 15 minutes chatting and then went back. It relieved us of tension and stress, apparently. As a suggestion, I would definitely recommend you to try it, especially hostelers. There’s no feeling that parallels this. Another way of relieving your stress, is, take a good dump. Sounds gross, but really helps. :p

Numerous such incidents dot my 4 years of taking exams in this college. Trips to Maggi Baba, Nescafe during wee hours, night mess. The freedom of saying, “Bhai agle sem fod denge”. I’ve probably still haven’t come to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t be going to college when I wake up. I won’t be able to message and ask “Class ho ri h?” or get thrown out of the class for being 2 minutes late or not bolting the door. I won’t be roaming around carelessly in the campus joking and laughing around with friends. The semester is ending, as it always does. But now it all ends, as if, the college says “That’s all folks!”

An unforgettable journey it has been. I can ramble on the fantastic life that I have spent here, infinite stories, great camaraderie. How I’ll miss this college. I hope my next journey is as good as this has been! 😀


That’s it!

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